yoga with james spader, embracing the ridiculous, raising cash

:: i dreamt last night that i was doing acro-yoga with james spader. it wasn't overtly sexual, but it was mildly erotic. spader is not an actor i give much thought to, so i am truly wondering what my subconscious was up to with this dream. ideas are welcome.

:: i am doing lots of things to raise cash for the move. i am selling a department store gift card with a face value of $250, at a discount. interested parties, please contact me! paypal only. i am also selling guided meditations/hypnosis MP3s (custom made) for $35 each. available meditiations: better sleep, weight loss, quitting smoking, abundance, confidence, attracting healthy relationships, etc. a website will be up within the next day or so.

:: i am much happier when i have few expectations and simply embrace the ridiculousness of life. accepting everything as random and nonsensical is easier than trying to make sense of the chaos. for now, that's my story and i'm sticking to it.

peace,
torch

Exhaustion

This week has been probably the most stressful I have endured in a long time. Most of it revolved around Alan's medications and trying to reach his pain doctor, a LONG trip down to Peachtree city on Tuesday, bungled meeting plans with other people, playing taxi (which isn't of itself stressful, in fact I quite enjoy the company, but it's just another time schedule to be met), and arguing with pharmacies and insurance. Plus, all the attendant stress of end of month and reports and monies due. Which is stressful enough all by itself.

So, here I sit on Friday night, contemplating a glass of Pinot Noir, and getting ready to close up the computer for the night. Sounds like a plan.

Have a great Friday night, everyone!

xoxo
songstress

The Move

It's looking like it is going to happen! A move to a three-bedroom, fully renovated unit in the Glen Lake complex. Saw the model, it's to die for. All new appliances, fixtures, washer and dryer included, etc. The whole deal should save us somewhere around $250 per month. The $ savings are sorely needed. The best part of the entire thing is that we will have a spare bedroom in which to accommodate guests! No more hotels for our out-of-town friends. And...it's a great party place as well, due to the layout and location of the terrace. We might have one more great summer ahead of us!! I'm already thinking of decor and what I want to do with the place. The only bad thing right now is I really don't want to keep any of my furniture...I will likely have to slipcover the couch and use it temporarily. But we just need SO much stuff! Ah well. All in good time.

Lalalalalala. April first, baby!

Saturday Fun

This has been quite a fun day of getting things done. Delivered 2 Avon orders. Recruited 2 new reps. Got my car's emissions inspection done. Paid my new tag fee ($90.00 - UGH). Started cleaning, but now I have to run out to get Alan some prescriptions and medical stuff.

All in a Saturday's work, LOL. No rest for the weary. I could actually take a nap right now, but no such luck (long, deep sigh).

I have no idea what I'm going to concoct for dinner tonight, either. Might have to watch some Food Network to get inspired.

Ciao for now,
~L~

Good Stuff

More stream-of-consciousness:

Mega thanks to Holly for writing an article about my PR services for designers - very exciting! Also, congrats to her on her private art exhibition in Charlottesville. Awesome news.

I may be moving! I'm not sure how all of the pieces are going to fit together, but, as has always been the case in my life, when something is meant to be, everything manages to fall into place. Stay tuned.

I am no longer angry, but it was good to air my feelings.

I have a certain degree of anxiety right now - about things in general. I am working on it.

Yoga was extremely difficult this morning, but rewarding. Savasana never felt so good.

I am thinking about lunch.

In general, I am pretty happy.

Time to get back to work!!!

xo
torch

The Rage of The Torch

I don't fly into rages very often. I am like my Dad, in that we are generally peacekeepers, non-confrontational souls who live and let live. That is, until we are really crossed. And then it's "watch out, because the hurricane has arrived".

I had one such instance yesterday. I am not proud of my anger, rather, it embarrasses me that I can be provoked in such a way. On the surface, it was a silly thing that sparked the fire. But the intent behind it carried hurt and the kind of mocking scorn that can make me lose it completely. And, it did.

Bottom line...I can be an awesome friend to the people I care about. I would totally want me as a friend. But, I am kind of a high maintenance friend - not in that you need to do things for me, or give me presents or take me nice places, or listen to me whine for hours on end. BUT, I require a few things. Respect, kind words, appreciation, attention. Once in awhile, act concerned about how MY day is going. Ask how I'm feeling. Give me a hug. Tell me you like something I did. Make a comment on something I've written (or, even, just READ something I've written). Call me or email me just to say hello, or for something more than to ask me for favors or to pick my brain. It's really not that much to ask. But, if you're either unwilling or unable to do any of the above, let me know now, because I just don't have the time or energy to invest anymore. I get bruised easily, and life is too short to feel that way.

Afterparty

Usually, the term "afterparty" conjures visions of rock n' roll excess followed by sordid tales of swinging from chandeliers, free-flowing Taittinger and white powder-filled bathtubs. The afterparty I attended on Friday night was slightly less debaucherous, but in my view, no less fun and exciting.

"Drinks with Dracula" followed the Atlanta Ballet's brilliant production of "Dracula", and consisted of a meet and greet with the dancers as well as freely-flowing libations and incredible edibles.

The dancers who seemed larger-than-life onstage were gracious and humble off. I already have my favorites after seeing just two performances, and they include Kristine Necessary - a joyful, lyrical dancer with boundless energy and a great smile; Christian Clark - a simply beautiful young man with elevation rivaling a young Baryshnikov; Tara Lee - an exquisite technician who creates a total character; Jonah Hooper, whose "Dracula" was otherworldly as he slithered across the floor and down the scaffolding and seemed about ten feet tall onstage; and Kelly Tipton, a stunning young woman who reminded me of the Balanchine ballerinas of my day. While the event was, in essence, a "suck up to the patrons" type of fete, not one of the dancers in attendance acted like it was a chore to be there.

It was also a treat to meet John McFall, the artistic director of the company, and Sharon Story, ballet mistress (who I swear I have crossed paths with in a former life).

I am ever grateful to my friend James for allowing me to accompany him to this wonderful evening!

Random Thoughts 101

I may need a 12 step program to get off NyQuil. But I am sleeping SO well!

I am happy to be seeing Atlanta Ballet's "Dracula" tonight.

Friday the 13th is always lucky for me.

I am happy it is a 3-day weekend, even though I will be working throughout.

I love this warm, sunny weather we've been having. It's soothing my soul.

I think I want one of these renovated apartments! They are gorgeous.

I am still sad over Tiny's passing. She was my little sweetheart.

I want to know why there were 6 police cars here last night.

I am missing a few people in my life, even though they drive me nuts most of the time.

I miss the beach...I need some Florida right now.

I want to learn to windsurf.

I need to step up my workouts.

People, by turns, fascinate, infuriate, exasperate, and inspire me.

I love life too much to leave just yet.

I just want enough money so I never have to worry about it and enough left over to help people.

I will be the BEST rich person in the world. ;-)

I want to learn Spanish and Italian.

I will have my dream car within a year.

I feel the urge to dance.

Songs are my freedom.

I'm designing the perfect life for me.

I love you.

More Smellin' Good Stuff

Courteney Cox is the face of Avon's newest fragrance for women, Spotlight, which is due to launch in April. According to Courteney...

"...all women are in the spotlight in their own unique ways and this fragrance highlights the excitement and the exhilaration of that feeling."

Spotlight was developed by perfumer Jean-Marc Chaillan:

"The top notes of the Fresh Oriental scent were inspired by the feeling of excitement before a big moment. An icy silver accord meets illuminating citrus with sun-ripened fresh mandarin pur and Italian bergamot essence, extracted via cold press from the peel of the fruit. At the heart of Spotlight are deluxe naturals only available from IFF's exclusive Laboratoire Monique Remy, a state-of-the-art laboratory and manufacturing facility in France. This luminous floral heart combines pristine hydroponic white freesia, which is nurtured in a purely aqueous environment void of any impurities, rich tuberose absolute, and mimosa pur to capture the essence of confidence and radiance as you step into the spotlight. The base notes include sexy undertones of creamy cashmere sandalwood and precious vetiver with a kiss of white vanilla musk that leaves a lasting impression."

Avon Spotlight will be available in 50 ml Eau de Toilette, in a quilted glass bottle, retailing for $22.50.

I have a tester and can get samples before the actual catalog release - this is a heavenly scent! I can likely get a volume discount if there is enough interest, so hit me up.

Kryptonite in my Coffee

I guess it's flattering that Al called me "Superwoman" today. And, yes, sometimes I feel like I must be (as are most women) with all the stuff I juggle on a daily basis. But I have to say that in the past few weeks, someone has seriously put some Kryptonite in my morning beverage. A cold turned into bronchitis, turned into severe asthma, turned into a sinus infection. I have, by turns, completely lost my sense of smell and now my hearing. But, this, too shall pass. And, if it doesn't, I will learn to sign and read lips.

Peace out.

Falling Into Place

The pieces are beginning to fall into place again. Maybe there is something to this Mercury Retrograde thing, after all. The medications arrived for Al today. People have begun to call back. I'm oddly optimistic, despite the gloom and doom all around me. Probably the only real problem is that the opportunistic sinus affliction has now invaded my ears, and I am practically deaf. Just lovely. And, I am still way more tired than I should be.

My friend Mary Jo sent around an email that was full of funny things uttered from the mouths of little kids. The best one had Mom and I hysterical all afternoon.

Little Susie sat in rapt attention in church, as the preacher said "Without the Lord, we are but dust". At which point, Susie exclaimed loudly, "Mommy, what the heck is BUTT DUST?"

You know, sometimes ya just feel like so much Butt Dust.

Heeeeeee.

Mercurial Madness

OK, so Mercury is out of retrograde and has gone direct as of 2/1, so why hasn't the craziness stopped? Can't really say. I am very happy to be feeling better (although, seriously, I still get winded walking up the stairs, which is SO not me), and the cash flow situation is currently in the black, although still meager. However, I spent three hours in the car last night in search of one of Alan's medications, and another three early this morning -- to no avail. So, the jinx hasn't completely faded from my portfolio. I am grateful, though, for what I do have, and have begun expressing sincere gratitude in whatever way possible to those who have truly made a difference to me.

Newsflash, haha. I am such a naive girl when it comes to people. It still comes as a shock when people blatantly lie, to and about me, and I'm not sure I will ever get over that. And, it's still a bit of a shock when people whom you have gone out of your way for simply don't care. I emerge a little smarter, a little wiser, a little harder each time. But I will never be jaded, thank the Universe. I continue to look at the world through a child's eyes with all of the same wonder and naivete, and I don't really think that's a bad thing.

NDEs and OBEs

How does a head cold become a near-death experience? These and many other questions will no doubt be answered in the coming weeks. I am grateful to be here right now, and will never again ignore the warnings of my body. Although I will say, it was extremely cool to be out-of-body and would like to truly learn how to do it, safely and constructively, more often~~~~